The Essence Of Home

Whether single or married, parent or childless, student, missionary, working away from home, traveling as a way of life, or in between places while being transferred—anyone can “make home” amidst the ever-changing circumstances of life. But it won’t just happen by accident. Homemaking — not in the sense of housekeeping, but in the broader sense of cultivating the life of a home — has to be done on purpose.

The essence of home, you see, is not necessarily a structure. What makes a home is the life shared there, wherever that may be. And cultivating the life of home requires intentionality, planning, and design. There must be someone (or several someones) to craft the life, the beauty, the love, and the inspiration that overflows from that place.

Read more about this in The Lifegiving Home.

Training Takes Time

Even as Jesus had to be patient with fully grown but spiritually immature men who seemed slow to respond to his training, so we must practice patience with our children — and ourselves. The very nature of training is that it usually involves immature individuals, which means it takes a long time to accomplish its goals!

Yet Jesus' experience with his disciples can also encourage us to persist, because we see that the long, frustrating process of training really does make a difference. No matter how futile the process may seem at times, most children eventually learn the truths and habits we are diligent to instill in them. As Proverbs reminds us, if we "train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it" (22:6).

Read more about this in The Ministry of Motherhood.

Tea Time Tuesday: True Discipleship Is Heart Work

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Five minutes from my flat in Oxford were 5 or 6 cafes with great coffee and breakfast. When I sat outside, without fail, I would see someone I knew, and we would chat about life. How I wish I could find some of you crossing my daily path so we could have a cuppa and chat.

One of the questions I hear so often is, "How did you pass on faith, a legacy of spirituality to your children?” Discipleship is a matter of heart connection. Jesus, kneeling down in the dusty floor, mingling his hands with toes, dirt and smell, lovingly touching, firmly wiping the feet of His beloved friends, amidst stench, noise and eating, laughing, living. Reaching their hearts, souls, minds with the depth of the call of His kingdom was an embracing of the reality of daily life amongst full-blooded, crusty, men, while passing on truth, eternal life, understanding. These men were hungry to fulfill a life's purpose that captivated their deepest longings to see that their lives mattered.

Jesus didn't just talk about having a ministry from a broad, tall pulpit with a resounding microphone, while disappearing between sermons. He lived a deeply personal life with words and instruction as well as integrity and generous love demonstrated in each moment of every day. He served, bowed his knee to meet needs and desires of those He loved. He taught compassion, and then demonstrated it by healing the sick, touching those with leprosy, giving grace to a prostitute, holding and caressing children, feeding those who were hungry.

Jesus took three years off from the work of the universe in order to pass his ministry on to his disciples. He lived with them, ate, loved, instructed them. As mothers, if we want the same kind of life-changing impact on our children, it will require the sacrifice of our time, our commitments. It will be inconvenient and life-consuming. But leaving godly disciples is the greatest work we will ever achieve. When I meet Jesus face to face, He will say, "What did you do to invest, love, teach your children the secrets of the kingdom of God so that they will love me and serve me with wholehearted devotion?"

More on discipleship on today’s Tea Time Tuesday podcast.

The Importance Of Building Close Relationships

Relationships are the starting point for others to understand what God is like and what His purposes are for us here on earth. In taking time to build close relationships, we learn that people are more important than things or material possessions. We come to understand that close relationships, not status or accomplishment or virtual realities, are what bring happiness and meaning to life.

Our lives become what we live and model, and when we invest personally in the lives of others, we will reap personally in terms of friendship and affection. There is always a cost to building intimacy with others. Giving comfort to one who is ill requires time and practical labor.

Listening to the feelings of a teen usually involves lost sleep because the deepest conversations take place at night. Buying groceries, cooking meals, making cups of tea, providing snacks requires the sacrifice of time and energy. Keeping house — picking up those messes one more time — is a service of worship to God as we craft a place of beauty and comfort for all who enter our sanctuary of His very presence.

Read more about this in The Lifegiving Home.

God Works Through You

When He was on earth, Jesus chose ordinary people to be His followers and then lead His Kingdom ­ movement — fishermen, tax collectors, prostitutes. Apart from His twelve disciples, His closest friends were Lazarus and his two ­ sisters — Martha, a willing hostess, and Mary, who seemed more interested in listening to Jesus than in serving food. These common folk took Jesus at His word.

When Christ gets ahold of one’s life and the Holy Spirit lives through an ordinary person like you or me, the redeeming power of God bubbles over and touches every aspect of life.

In our own flesh, we face limitations. No matter how much we would love to become excellent, we will sometimes fail in our attempts to be unselfish. Yet Jesus came to provide grace for us in every task.

In my quest to live for His Kingdom, I trust in His ability to do great things. I yield my days to Him, believing that He will be faithful to work through me. As I offer Him all that I have, I will accomplish more in His Spirit than I could ever have done by myself. I yield my burdens to Him, knowing that He will show up because He is my dependable Father.

Read more about this in Own Your Life.

Tea Time Tuesday: Shaping A Culture Of Love

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Tea Time Tuesday

Each of us has a deep longing to be loved, to have our lives validated, to know that we matter and have a purpose—a place to belong. It is a longing in our hearts because God put it there. Our need for this never ends.

God designed, family, mothers the ability to build a strong home culture of love so that these deep needs would be met through roots, strength, security, stability, direction.

Building an environment of love, grace, belonging, so that each child who is welcomed into her home, will sense a wellspring in their hearts that says, "I have a history. I am a Clarkson, we love each other, we belong to each other, we will always have stability because we are a part of this family circle of love."

Shaping a family culture of love takes time, intention, does not just happen by chance. A child who is given a place to build roots, foundations of moral strength, affection, unconditional love, forgiveness, a safe haven in which to grow, can carry stability in their souls their whole lives, and will find the strength to face the trials of life and the challenges.

A child can be given all the experiences and material things the world has to offer, but if his soul is starving, empty or filled with the anger or rejection, even simple passivity (which communicates worthlessness), will have difficulty filling this cavernous hole the rest of his life, will look for love and validation in all the wrong places.

A mother's love and legacy is one of the most powerful influences in the world, will determine the strength, history of a culture. But to provide such a legacy in the lives of our children requires a choice. The choice is to serve, give, train, instruct, provide, and encourage again and again. This choice will have eternal consequences, because the souls of the children raised in such a home will be strong, beautiful, spiritual, healthy and purposefully formed.

Few things will last after we die, but our children and their children will live throughout eternity. What we do as mothers, therefore, has eternal significance.

Today on my podcast I will list 5 ways to cultivate a culture of love.

Reaching For God

For many it seems there is always something out there, just beyond their grasp, that they cannot have but which they believe will fulfill them and make them happy if they could somehow get their hands on it. But they can't, and their failure to do so leaves them feeling anxious, empty, and depleted. And so they live in the shadow of unfulfilled expectations of how their lives could or should be.

Contentedness will not come from being more organized, sleeping longer, being a better wife, keeping a nicer home, using higher-quality materials, taking more time for yourself, or whatever it is you think might help. Contentedness is learned by accepting life each day as God gives it to you, and adjusting your expectations to life's limitations.

Paul said, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances" (Philippians 4:11). His honest testimony is a forceful reminder to me that contentedness is never a gift or a given, but rather it is a learned condition. It is a fruit of the Spirit's work in my life as I live each day by faith, walking in his power.

It isn't some kind of supernatural salve that I can ask God to apply to my heart but, rather, a learned condition of depending on God. As Paul goes on to say, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13).

Read more about this in Seasons Of A Mother’s Heart.

What We Do As Mothers Has Eternal Significance

As a woman who has enjoyed a career of teaching, speaking, counseling, and writing, I have had to make many difficult decisions to cut my career opportunities in order to focus on my family priorities.

However, I have come to realize that embracing God's call to the duties of motherhood doesn't diminish my abilities to use my gifts, strength, and training, but fulfills a part of God's design.

Read more about this in The Mission Of Motherhood.

Tea Time Tuesday: My Mama, My Friend

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Tea Time Tuesday: Aren’t they the cutest?

These are my treasures, my deepest friends. ​If I have any extra time, I want to spend it with them​​ (and Clay)​, talk to them, invest life with them, seek their advice. Though we live far apart, and sometimes I miss them so dearly, I take great pleasure watching them pursue their own stories, find godly destinies where they each give beauty and love back to the world within the context and parameters of their own personalities.

It all started when I held my tiny infant close, looking at those wide opened eyes staring up at me intensely. Then a smile came over her soft little face because my precious one recognized me​ — me!  What a gift. An unexplainable joy filled my emotions. My heart was captured forever by this miraculous little human being.

Eventually, I would be blessed with 4 such treasures named Sarah, Joel, Nathan and Joy. Each one totally unique, individual sparkle, diverse personalities, but all a part of me, my inside self. We explored and ventured through life​ together.​ They caused me to grow less selfish, more understanding of life​ — its limits, its wonders. We experienced life as companions daily. I marveled more at God as I watched Him through their eyes. They made me giggle, amazed me, brought such deep and unexpected pleasure in love, belonging, and I had a “pack," my people,​ where I belonged.  

Over years they grew, strained towards the dreams of life that they would each pursue individually, according to their “bent​.” There were, of course, ups and downs, stretching toward wisdom ​and insight into the vast secrets and dilemmas of life. It called me to give all that I could with ​my whole heart. I did it imperfectly but with intentionality, all that I could muster. But they were loving, accepting, grace-filled little human beings who were ready to love in return ​and forgive. And I was ready to accept their frailty and strengths as well because that is how we rolled.

Join me today on ​m​y podcast to ponder the sweetness of cultivating deep friendship with your children, and learning how to put the duties of life into their proper place.

Evidence Of Living A Faithful Life

Don't ever believe your child isn't noticing how you live and how you interact with them as well as others. They see it all. They make note of our priorities and how we invest our time and resources.

And when they realize they are one of those top priorities and you are choosing to pour into them with time, prayer, teaching, and connection, they get a glimpse of God's love and care for them.

Parenting through the lens of mentoring and discipleship will inspire, train, and stretch us and our children to live into our God-given potential.

Read more about this in Teatime Discipleship.