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Blog — SallyClarkson.com

Tea Time Tuesday: Be Kind to Yourself Today

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Over the past couple of weeks, I have blown bubbles, covered our driveway with chalk drawings, hiked in the mountains, provided sticker books and markers for drawing, read adventures out loud, cooked a thousand meals and cleaned up, made countless cups of tea (for the grands it is 1/3 decaf tea with 2/3 milk), held, cuddled, and more. My precious Sarah, Thomas, and family visited us from Oxford. I remembered this pace from having my own 4.

This morning, I was extra tired after these busy but cherished times, amidst precious ones and deadlines. I wiggled into my soft, warm, squishy duvet even a bit more this early morning, I was mentally surveying my heart-feelings. They were very slow, tired, a little fretful. As I lay there feeling like I needed to make some big decisions that had come into my life, I pondered unanswered questions about the future, about my children’s health, lives, and future, and the state of our crazy world and country, I could feel the anxiety of life creep upon me. And I was so tired.

But God whispered, “Be gentle to yourself today. Don’t make this day the one where you get everything done, figure life out, take care of everyone else in the world. Be still, rest in your heart, just breathe in peace.” Truly, it was the message that came to my heart from Him.

For many years, I lived as Martha, rushing around, busying myself, planning more than I could possibly accomplish, then getting grumpy with the kids when life didn’t go as planned. I could see how fruitless and wasteful this attitude was, but something pushed me, perhaps guilt, to work harder, push more, get more done.

An important long journey in my life has been to rid myself of guilt for not living up to my ideals, for stumbling, and instead moving in the direction more toward God’s unconditional love, grace for me and His gentleness, His grace gives strength for my every day when I choose to rest in Him.

Join me today on my podcast, At Home with Sally, where I share from my book Well Lived about a time when I blew it with my children and felt so guilty for spewing.

Be sure to grab one of my books below as a perfect mother’s day gift for you or your friend.

We Are Part Of His Story

Our lives and our families become memorials in and of themselves, something for further generations to follow after. As the Clarkson family, the way we invest our lives, the way we choose to spend them for the purposes of eternity, will be a marker for many who come after us.

Just think of the incredible beauty of God’s handiwork—hundreds of families and countless people, spanning the entirety of history, who have lived their lives as memorials of God’s redemption of the world.

We Clarksons are part of that story. Your family is part of that story too. The choices we make in faith are determining the shape of our legacies.

Read more about this in The Lifegiving Home.

Winning Your Children's Hearts

As I have grown through the past few decades years of motherhood, I've come to appreciate the importance of the many thousands of routine moments in a mother's life, for it is in these moments that real greatness tends to be taught and caught.

If I have integrity and patience in the small moments of life that are so important to my children, and if I approach them with a servant's heart, then I have a far better chance of influencing them in the larger and more critical issues of life.

When we choose to graciously overlook our children's messes and accidents, we are teaching them to be patient and forgiving with the mistakes of others. When we react sensitively and thoughtfully to them, we are helping to instill these qualities in their lives. And as they observe us searching Scripture, spending time with the Lord, and making faith-based decisions, they learn these things as well. Modeling loving service to our children gives them something to emulate in their own lives.

Read more about this in The Mission Of Motherhood.

Tea Time Tuesday: Cherishing Every Moment

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Tea Time Tuesday

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

This week, I have had the privilege of hosting the most important people in the world. Dancing, feasting, making memories are more important than any other task.

I remembered another time:

The memory of camping on our deck under an endless expanse of twinkling stars, aspen leaves shivering and whispering in the mountain breeze, staring into the vast canopy of space, squinting to see a fleeting shooting star, is still as vivid to me now as it was when our family experienced it so many years ago. In the midst of overwhelming, nonstop craziness of our family life, those nights of sleeping out under the stars were transformative. The simple act of going outside, enjoying nature, changed the entire tone of our life together.

In the bustle of a busy household, especially when people are overworked and tired, tempers tend to flare, unkind words are spoken. It happens to everyone, and it certainly happened to us — often.

In my urge to get things done, I would turn into a drill sergeant. The rest of the family, depending on their personalities, would rebel or turn sullen, or simply disappear.

At such times, what we all needed was a vacation — time to rest, play, and escape the machine of busyness for a time. A vacation wasn’t always feasible, but we found that camping at home could be just the ticket to ease our stress, cool our irritations.

The night would invariably begin with pizza and root beer floats for the kids. We would take our meal outside, enjoy it in the cool, refreshing mountain air. Once done with dinner, the kids would take to our expansive yard, running wildly around playing flashlight tag as dusk descended. I would watch from the second-story deck with Clay, gazing out toward Colorado Springs. Our house at the time sat on a long ridge nestled up against the foothills of the Rockies, more than a thousand feet higher than most of the population in the city.

I looked out and could see the whole metropolis spanning before me, infinite lights sparkling below. After a few minutes, I could feel myself relaxing, my spirit growing quieter.

More on today’s new podcast episode.

Learn From Jesus

We will often be tempted to act in a manner that is harsh, impatient, unloving, judgmental of others, quick to lash out when we feel attacked.

Yet the only way to overcome these temptations and end life with a wise, peacemaking, loving, gentle heart is to invest in our spiritual lives every day by spending time with the Source of all goodness and lovingkindness, the Lord Jesus Himself.

Jesus said, “Learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart.” (Matthew 11:29) This seems to be my pondering of the year. Learn from Him.

Read more about this in Mom Heart Moments.

Living Out The Definition Of Grace & Love

As mothers, I believe, we are called to take the lesson of grace to heart. Like Jesus, we are to draw our own children to a life apart from the rest of the crowd.

Yet we must always remember that our children, like Peter, will never be perfect. Each of them needs for us, like Jesus, to extend to him or her the gift of constant love, grace, and forgiveness. And we can only do this by relying continually on the grace of our own relationship with the Lord.

When we do this, we will live out the definition of grace and love in such a way that our message will be written on their hearts. They will understand that the God who calls them to a great task will stay with them as they strive to complete it. They will know he gives them the strength and encouragement they need—and the grace to pick themselves up when they fall. And they will know all this in part because of the hands-on grace they have experienced at home.

Read more about this in The Mission of Motherhood.

Tea Time Tuesday: Home: Always a Place of Welcome

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Tea Time Tuesday

“The impact of an intentional place of welcome is eternal because the true transforming power of home goes heart, mind, and souls deep. People thrive when stability comes through belonging.”

-Well Lived

Every family has a story of life that defines them. We are a traveling family. Clay and I have had hundreds of goodbyes at airports over the years. Our children live in New York City, London, Oxford. We have spent our lives in missions and ministry all over the world. Someone is always coming or going, but at the end of the trip, we always hope for a soft landing in our home, the place of welcome, love, and a safe haven of rest.

A few years ago, I was traveling from Denver to London, to Oxford. Leaving home, traveling to the airport, standing in lines, dragging suitcases, keeping my passport ready, sitting amongst strangers for 10 hours and then 2 more hours dodging trucks on the freeway before arriving home in Oxford wears a 70-something mama out. I couldn’t wait just to get to my “home.”

Ten minutes before I was to arrive home, I texted Joel and said, “I’ll be home in ten minutes.” As my friend and I arrived at my fairy house, I saw a “Welcome” sign hung on the front door. I pushed it open. “We are here!” I moved in the direction of the kitchen. Clay was making a strong pot of Yorkshire gold tea. Joel quipped, “The cheesy scrambled eggs are almost ready and almond croissants and sour dough bread are heating in the oven. Welcome home, Mama!” A perfect welcome to soothe my soul.

We had practiced rituals and rhythms for so many years, even my boys enacted them as a habit of life. Now I could breathe in peace, rest myself into a comfy chair and catch up on the happenings of life. This was a place of welcome, love and safety.

Today on my podcast, I speak about how to curate a home that creates welcome. Rhythms, routines, traditions, collections and more.

Our own practices fit our family culture, quirky personalities, values that scribbled our story of life on the Clarkson family history. Each of our lives will be different but special and unique. What ways does your home offer a place of welcome?

We Are A Model Of God To Our Children

We were made to enjoy life and our Creator, and we were meant to choose to live in His beauty and provision. This doesn't mean we won't have difficulties or times of depression, but we do have choices that we can make as mothers that will determine the environment of our home.

It is vital that we realize we are a model of God to our children and we must take care that we present His light, beauty, love, humor, and joy. When choose to notice the gorgeous sunsets and the spring flowers in the midst of our busy days, we are teaching our children to dance, so to speak, through their days.

When we choose to believe in the goodness of God and verbalize our love for Him, and make an effort to provide delightful food, thoughtful cards, and moments of fun, we are showing our children a God they will be willing to serve.

Read more about this in Your Mom Walk With God.

Building A Home Is The Work Of A Lifetime

To build a civilized home life is the work of a lifetime, not achieved in a short period of time or without great effort and perseverance. This is what makes our role, as we raise and mentor and love our children, so profoundly important.

Make your home and your home life, always and forever, a place of welcome, refuge, fun, comfort, and delight. You will find the work inside its walls will hold influence for a lifetime. You will never stop "making home," because there will always be people in your world longing for the life that you have created there.

Read more about this in Awaking Wonder.

Tea Time Tuesday: We Are The Lightbearers

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Tea Time Tuesday: Well Lived Book

“Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” - Matthew 5: 16

The battle is still raging.

Many of you precious ones are heartbroken, discouraged, alone, and deep into the battle of faith. I understand. I am praying for you. I wrestled with my faith over years, but in doing so, I came to a deeper understanding of this fallen world, the nature of evil, that God’s light was stronger than the darkness, that we are all heading to a kingdom that cannot be shaken. It is not “bad” to doubt, it is the pathway to understanding. Of course, as in the garden, Satan is there to whisper lies. My children doubted but eventually became strong in their faith, too. I walked beside them with love, encouragement because I understood.

Building faith came by creating a beautiful life where they could better imagine God’s goodness, His love, His justice. It is not in lecturing or giving a harsh moralistic standard, but in showing unconditional love, giving grace through gentleness, "showing" love of God in daily moments of life.

Why did I sacrifice my time, make space to develop deep friendships? Create a beautiful place for all to dwell? Cook delicious meals, light candles each night, and play music all day long? Why late-night back scratches, reading literally hundreds of books about heroes, courage, sacrifice, love? Why daily devotions, bedtime prayers? The hundreds of tea times, talks, and comfort given over endless stages of life for countless hours?

Because beauty, love, serving, encouraging, living out my faith in mundane moments of days was my defense against the darkness, my defiance to the world’s lies and fears. It gave them scope to believe in God’s goodness, to hope for his justice in a broken place, to believe and wait for His redemption.

My granddaughter awakened in darkness of early morning. She wanted to go to “our special place” to have our tea time together. I lit candles, made tea.

As I was doing so, she actually said softly, “Queenie, You are a light-maker in the dark this morning.”

My friends, go be a light-maker where you are.

More on my podcast.