Why God Made Us Mothers

Often times as mothers, we consider our tasks as being performed for the benefit of the children or babies. But God gave us children so that we might become unselfish, love generously, work more heartily, understand forgiveness, learn perseverance, develop endurance, grow in graciousness, expand our creativity, and learn the skills of life giving parenting.

To become this vessel where He is willing to dwell and to become the soul that reflects Him and his gentle love and powerful reality, we must submit to the building and crafting that He has designed by making us mothers after his own heart.

I did not know that this journey was about soul-making, but now I see that in the shaping of my soul, He also designed the end result to be deep fulfillment and happy pleasure. For being with my adult children is my greatest joy and brings me the deepest happiness in my days of living on this earth.

Read more about this in The Mission of Motherhood.

Home Is A Haven In A Weary World

The most effective discipleship, I learned, flows from genuine and deep connection, and such connection often begins in an atmosphere of fun, friendship, and both noticing and meeting needs.

As a single woman, I had many opportunities to talk to students about God’s love in the context of food, fun, and identifying with their student lifestyles. As a result, I saw many embrace a lifelong commitment to Christ. For lonely college students, having a space to laugh, meet people, and feel accepted was a profound answer to the deep longings of their hearts. Like Jesus, we were attending to their emotional, physical, and social needs as well as their spiritual needs and presenting the gospel as a personal appeal, not an agenda.

I carried this lesson with me when I started a family of my own. It was always my goal that our home be the place our children and their friends loved to be. Even now, in their adult years, their heartstrings are tied to home because it is a place where they know they will be cared for and known. A web of connection and love knits us together from the many fun times we have had as well as from our shared and growing faith.

Read more about this in The Lifegiving Table.

Tea Time Tuesday: A Thankful Heart Literally Heals

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Tea Time Tuesday

I love this season of Thanksgiving — corn bread dressing, pecan pie, a cranberry and cream cheese gelatin salad, pumpkin pie, whipped cream.

We are also going to be living through the next days of finding out results of the election, wars and rumors of wars, and we all have our own personal pressures and issues to live with. We all need a shot of hope. Yet, I am convinced more than ever that when I practice gratefulness, that God is good and that He is at work in our world every day and in my life through every season, I find peace. But even more, my friends and children are watching my life to see how I am modeling that trust and thankful heart of faith.

Christian virtue is not just knowing the definition, but it is in putting virtue actively in the presence of every moment. The virtue of trust, thanks to God in all things, must be acted out in a real life to be understood and copied.

Every morning here in Oxford, I sneak downstairs to make a cup of tea before anyone needs me. I am staying with Sarah, Thomas, and my 4 grandchildren. But every morning, I have a visitor who slips quietly into my room, and with a sheepish smile says, “I’m here! Are you ready for me?”

Lilian, my granddaughter, sits on my chair with me. We chat, sip tea, and eventually she reads aloud and I marvel at her newfound skill. But always, we start out with, “What are the two things you are thankful for today?” It is my hope that this practice will give her the gift of learning to be thankful and choosing gratitude as a life habit.

Harvard psychology research shows gratitude is strongly, consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish, remember good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, build strong relationships.

I want to help train the pathways of my precious grandchild to grow strong in being thankful for her own long term well being — scripture tells us, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Depression and a broken spirit literally make the body vulnerable to illness.

Thankfulness brings health, complaining destroys.

God bless you this week, friends.

Reflecting The Love Of Christ To Your Children

It is not in getting the rules right or in defining all of the rules and theology that will make our children want to serve God. It is in laying down our life for them, serving them, listening to them, loving who God made them within the context of a call to holiness, that will secure in them a desire to love God with all of their hearts. By seeing our love, they will more easily understand and receive God's love, as it will already be familiar to their hearts and brains.

How might you show your children the love of Christ today?

Well Lived Book

Reaching The Hearts Of Those Around You

While I was living in Oxford, Parliament decided to make a Minister for Loneliness to meet the needs of people who felt isolated, without community. I realized I needed to have in mind and prioritize reaching out to those in my normal walk of life.

Over the years, I cultivated friendships with baristas, women who came to my Bible study, a favorite waiter, and many more.

All of these friendships began with me pondering something I could say to open them up. "How old is your dog?" "You are the best coffee maker I know." "It was a comfort to come to your restaurant. Your food is the best in town."

Reaching people with the heart of Christ is simple — it just takes eyes to see the needs of those around you. How might you reach someone in your normal walk of life this week?

Order your copy of my new book, Well Lived, today.

The Mantle Of Motherhood Brought Me Peace & Capacity

By being accountable to God for the human beings entrusted into my arms, I had to grow in the direction of the ideals I wanted them to understand and emulate. And this personal character development influenced so many other realms of my life: my work habits, my writing and speaking, my willingness to accept the difficulties and bring light into the dark chaos.

What you practice in small areas of life impacts what you become in other areas. My own interests were stretched by the many inquiries and studies of my children, my education was broadened, my writing was enhanced by the countless books we read together, and my mind became stronger in and through ideas shared, discussed, and even challenged by my family.

Read more about this in my new book, Well Lived.

Tea Time Tuesday: Made for Adventure, Designed for Beauty

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Walking in the beauty of a moment captured in sharing deep friendship was my delight this week in Oxford. I asked my son, Joel, to think of a fun adventure we could take on a beautiful fall day. He told me of a favorite pub that was at the end of a beautiful 2.5 mile walk. Each step was filled with an array of fall leaves of gold, red, yellow and multi-color. We tramped through some muddy fields, up hill and down, crisp air, sharing secrets, dreams, funny stories, ideals, theology, and all the things that deep friends do share.

Our reward was an old pub, delightfully hidden in a quiet corner amongst old cottages built in the late 16th and early 17th centuries. The food was delectable, totally delicious, artfully presented, reasonably priced. Sitting out on the back porch with ceiling heaters keeping us toasty, we looked out upon huge aged trees, flowers swaying in the light breeze.

This week, I chose to carve out the time. I made my choice, because I know choices have consequences. This is the best choice, at times — focusing all of my heart, eyes, attention, love on my precious people that God entrusted into my hands. Not allowing the moment to slip away to the dark abyss of busyness, pretending to listen while having my eyes on the computer, to know and to be known, to trust someone with our heart and know it will be held with grace and tenderness. Getting away to a secret place, the sharing hearts requires a commitment of time — putting away all other distractions. Saying, "At this moment, you are the most important person in the world to me. I love being in your company."

It starts with the rocking chair when you sing lovely lullabies to infants, playing childish games with toddlers, whispering secrets, songs, silly stories, reading sweet books, the playful touch of back rubs, hearing secrets at bedtime, staying up late beyond midnight, listening and allowing teens to question, to pour out, to vent, to share insecurities with out criticism or lectures.

The sharing of life, the pointing them to His truth, His ways, His love, in the warp and woof of life moments — this is the secret of a blessed motherhood.

Tea Times Have Saved My Life

Taking the time to have a steaming hot cup of tea and a little sweet treat has saved my life many times — from frustration with a busy morning, from discouragement from life storms that seemed insurmountable. Tea times have given me a breath to pause in the midst of demanding days. I like to think that it was taking time for tea that inspired Lewis to write the sweeping, inspiring, heartening tales of Narnia.

Of course, tea was central to my daily life in Oxford, as I would take a few civilized moments to bring peace to my day. One of my favorite places for tea was at the Vaults and Garden, inside an old church that looks out on the Bodleian Library. Another favorite spot was a charming cafe that served delectable eggs benedict. If it wasn't for the regular walks in the park I could have easily gained a thousand pounds while living there!

Do you have a rhythm that brings peace to your days? Tell me all about it in the comments.

Women Are Amazing Creatures

Women are amazing creatures and have the ability to civilize the world, to influence generations by generously pouring out love, training the very character and souls of the next generation and persevering through great trials and challenges while coming out resiliently.

My hope has always been to guide, inspire, support my own beloveds through the passages of their own lives. As I matured over time and moved more gracefully into my role, I grew in my desire to come alongside other women, in the realm of influence God had opened up (and men—especially my own boys!) to provide some leadership and encouragement about what I had learned.

Read more about this in Well Lived.

Be Kind to Yourself, Patient, Give Grace

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Cappucino with extra whip!

What goes up must come down.

We are being depleted on a regular basis. We are human beings with limitations, but often, we ignore that fact, when we struggle or spew, we have nothing but condemnation for ourselves. Today, on my Tea Time Tuesday podcast, I read from one of my chapters in Well Lived!

Being “kind to yourself” is the only way to walk by God’s sweet, gentle, kind love and grace through our own marathons of life. That is what I wish for you today, that you would be kind to yourself.

What amazing meetings I have had in the past couple of weeks — 5 events in different cities, different venues, with hundreds and hundreds of sweet peeps of every age, lots of talking, giggling, estrogen, and great friendship, inspirational talks. Lots of adrenalin and energy expended!

I have indeed found over the years, that what goes up, must come down. Today is such a day. Weekends are off schedule, activities, sweets, church, friends, food — and then it is "getting back to the grind.” But today finds me flying over the ocean to my wonderful Oxford, the place where my stories and photos were recorded for my book, Well Lived.

Today is a day for grace — be kind to yourself day. Put beauty into your moments. Turn on music. Kiss a few people, hold their hands. Dance to music with a joy-filled heart.

Get a cup of coffee with an extra shot and whipped cream, as my friend insisted. Eat at least one square of dark sea salt chocolate. Forgive yourself today, put away anger and you won't be so grumpy, harsh. We all know that harshness creates tension — it doesn't create order.

"Mom, when you feel happy and sing and dance around the house, we all feel like we are on top of the world," said Joel.

Be happy, give your burdens to God. Everyone will be the better for your day. And so I am planning for a grace-filled days, a reprieve from so much work, so that I can be kind to my sweet people from a grace-filled heart.

I hope you will enjoy Well Lived.